Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
