I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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