I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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