Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
