Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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