At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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