she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
