i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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