dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
