dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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