just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
