Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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