He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When are your genitals available?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
