You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
