I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
