So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
