i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
