I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
