Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
