o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
