Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
