i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
