Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
