If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
