So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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