I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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