Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
