Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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