How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
