So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
