I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
