Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
