tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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