How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Can I color on your dick again?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
