Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
