I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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