You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
