Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
