so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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