I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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