with your own penis?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
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