just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
