she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
