Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My ass is underappreciated
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
