Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
