You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
