I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
