There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
