Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
