Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
