Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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